Scraps.

womens. retreat.

woman: an adult female person

retreat: a place affording peace and quiet.

This weekend I had the priviledge of attending a ..... yep, you guessed it :

Womens Retreat.

Nebraska District Womens Retreat actually :)

Can I just tell you that this sister didnt even realize how much she needed some time away.

Which is probably obvious with my last (eh, 6 blogs?!) full of mumbo-jumbled random ramblings.

My brain has been scattered, fo real.

Its been about 3 years or so that I get to go away with my mom (and sometimes sister, but not this year... missed you blit), and meet up with some friends and aunts and just.hang.out.

This year I was asked to lead worship (for the second year).

I havent really led worship much since the well.

I didnt even realize how much I LOVE it.

I was able to hang out with some friends and hot-tub it up :) *so stinkin' wonderful*

I was able to spend time with my mom and aunt k *whom I just cant get enough of in my life*

And hear from an AMAZING speaker (and my new friend, cindy!)

Here is my mama, me and Cindy :)

The messages were EXACTLY what i needed to hear

(dont you looo-hooove it when that happens?)

she spoke on the "scraps" of our lives.

how every scrap is being used to form a beautiful quilt and how God uses every inch, every scrap...

every. single. piece.

ahhhhh.

Can i just tell you how much that, in and of itself, fills my cup?!

ya know what I'm sayin?

Every. single. piece.

really, Lord?

You are going to use.... EVERYTHING?

and somehow make it... beautiful?

hmmmm.

really?

What about those bad mistakes I have made?

God: im using it.

What about all the endless times I fall so short?

God: usin.it.

What about... that one thing?

God: used.

ya know what else im realizing?

That Satan knows my buttons.

ugh... annoying.

Can i just be real with ya'll? *or whom-ever reads this* ha.

sometimes I think the Lord cant use me because I didnt finish college.

whhheww.. there, i said it.

and sometimes I think that I'll never get married or have kids.

*which kinda sorta makes me think "what have I been doing nannying?"

I didnt finish school.

I came home and started working.

and since then I have been working average jobs with average pay.

(which i happen to COMPLETELY LOVE by the way)

This often leaves me feeling........ average.

Can you even begin to realize how it felt for me to hear that God still wants to use me?!

UN-BELIEVABLE.

You want to use me?

You want to use all that I have done and still turn it into something Beautiful?

thats some crazy good stuff.

I just want to pass the message along.

God wants to use you.

He wants to take your questions and your concerns...

the things that make you anxious...

your "baggage"...

and He longs for you to give them to Him.

To. Be. His.

and then he'll use your journey (every.single.part)

and turn it into something beautiful.

... you make beautiful things.... you make beautiful things out of the dust....

Heres a little somethin' somethin' to listen to if ya want. its good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyPBtExE4W0

One less Lonely Girl

Happy valentines DAY! :)

can I just honest with ya'll for a hot second?

This sister aint a fan of valentines day.

Never really have been.

I have a valentines day curse.

*this year I literally tore my pinky nail down the middle*

Whether or not I have a valentine SOMETHING happens that messes up plans or something.

Well, I can tell you that this year I had a valentine... and a pretty good one.

My friend Austen asked to take me out for Valentines day.

(in hopes that he would give me a good one for a change.)

So Saturday night I had a sweet little pre-valentines day date :)

complete with Dinner, Good conversation, the most adorable waiter I've ever seen, AMAZING orange shrimp and some off the hook strawberry cheesecake...

(from no better place than the cheesecake factory)

A good night.

I finished my weekend by going to see the Justin Bieber movie with my mom and sister.

I have a confession to make : I want to be one less lonely girl.

That kid is so stinking good.

Im a fan.

I'm not ashamed.

I think he is adorable.

So, it was a good weekend.

but yesterday I was soooo stinkin' emotional.

Sister needed some help, let me tell ya.

There is a lot of changing going on for me in the next couple months.

Decisions about jobs, moving... everything.

and its weighing pretty heavy on my heart.

Let me just tell ya that I dont find anything wrong with crying. I think its good

(especially for a girl) to get a good cry out every now and then.

But i also think everything needs some moderation.

and yesterday I had none.

I think I cried for... eh.... probably 6 hours.

im. not. kidding.

conflicted. torn. sad. doubtful. scared. lonely. sad. frustrated. unsure. SAD.

I know Change is not something I can... CHANGE. (get it?)

its going to happen as long as I'm breathing.

I know I have to just accept it.

But i'm SOOOO not a fan of things changing.

I'm also not a fan of making decisions.

I can.not do it.

case in point: I hate making decisions so much that dinner menus give me anxiety.

yeah, its crazy people.

Yet, here I am.

Facing too things: Change and Decisions.

Are ya'll praying for me yet?

So.. what do i do with these feelings?

(seriously, I'm asking)

I have no idea.

breathe Brooke.

it's all going to work out.

breathe.

(siiiiigh).

There is a solution to all of this ya know...

I get on minute to win it and win 1 million dollars + a beautiful 25 year old man asked me to be his one less lonely girl.

I mean, this is totally possible, right?

:)

my most favorite place

rewind back to '09.

rough year.

I had experienced some low lows in 2009.

It was Christmas time.

I think I asked for a dooney and bourke purse.

(got it).

I was in a year of transition. lots of changes.

and as ya'll know by now... i dont like change all that much.

But change was a happenin to me.

I was living with Scott and Kim and Josh had JUST come home.

(that was so wonderful).

so anyways...

I wasnt working at the time and so my days were full of tenisha, josh and brooke time. :)

Tenisha time = so much fun.

Josh time = wonderful

Brooke time = piano time.

I found myself spending a lot of time in the word and searching for.... anything.

answers?? maybe.

direction?? eh, kinda.

peace?? totally.

I would drive across the street and go to my church.

I would walk in and go straight to the sanctuary.

Not turn on any lights except maybe one stage light so I could see something.

sit at the piano.

and literally UNLOAD.

play, sing, cry. make phone calls. (not kidding).

It kinda became my "spot" if you will.

serenity met me there.

it was heaven.

Now the hard part is that the church is only available for random piano usage at certain times.

I couldnt walk right in on any given day....

so my time there was limited... but well worth it.

.... but limited.

So... back to Christmas.

...Opening gifts with the family and I am opening my last gift and my dad tells me its on his cell phone.

He then shows me a picture.

of a.....

drum roll please?

piano.

"my" piano.

blue and white stand up piano.

with my favorite bible verse written across the front.

Psalm 147: 1-3

Hallelujah! Its a good thing to sing praise to our God;

praise is beautiful, praise is fitting.

God's the one who rebuilds Jerusalem, who regathers Israel's scattered exiles.

He heals the heartbroken and bandages their wounds.

He counts the stars and assigns each a name.

Our Lord is great, with limitless strength;

we'll never comprehend what He knows and does.

God puts the fallen on their feet again and pushes the wicked into the ditch.

*that is some goooood stuff right there.. i dont care who you are*

(I'll leave a few moments for ya'll to "awwwwwww")

My parents got me a piano and since then it has been sitting at the Sprat-house in their basement.

UNTIL RECENTLY (this christmas) when my dad moved it into my room.

can i just tell you that its simply heavenly having a piano in my room.

in the basement. in my space. where I can play WHENEVER i want.

last week I played at 2 am. and no one heard.

it. was. marvelous.

I have been playing like crazy lately.

Not playing anything fancy, not writing anything.

Just playing and singing. and worshipping.

and listening and listening. and... listening.

i've been hearing some good stuff people. :)

So... best gift I have ever received.. by far :)

it keeps giving. :)

ugh.. i have a WONDERFUL mom&dad.

So... this is my favorite place.

just in case ya'll were wonderin. :)