ch-ch-ch-changes.

Change - to undergo transformation or transition.

This is happening to me. now.

I hate change.

I have never liked it.

Not when I was 5.

Not when I was 18.

Not when I was 21.

not. now.

ps: did you know that there is a youtube video on how to dance at a club??!!

wow.

yes, i watched it - amazing.

i want to learn how to "walk it out"... only for real.

anyways..

Been trying to figure out what step to take next in my life...

Have a feeling the next step is a big one and well define a lot of things for me.

Decisions are being made people... im just saying.

I've decided to just go with it.

whatever it is.

praying a lot.

ALOT.

Life is so much more fun when you just let it happen.

Speaking of change.

I did a little change.

Not HUGE... but sooo stinkin' fun.

check it out.

Now I just need a tan. and a new swim suit.

And a pool.

and ahhh, summer.

I know that I was so excited for Fall and dont get me wrong it was great :)

I drank coffee, wore scarfs and boots (super cute boots).

Snuggled, watched dancing with the stars (ugh, corey should have won).

Spent time with Family... everything I wanted to do, i did.

But now its cold... and I'm over it.

I want summer.

Dear Summer,

I promise to not complain about your humidity but embrace every second.

I'm tired of going to work before the sun. I want to go on walks/runs and wear dresses and flip flops. Please hurry.. preferribly in the next few weeks.

Thank you.

restless.

steal my heart. hold me close. let me hear a still small voice. let it grow. let it rise. into a shout. into a cry.

So, I cant sleep.

This is a re-occurring event.

I was going through some worship songs tonight when I came across this song.

A woman in my church talked to me on Sunday about this song in particular.

and I literally just happened to come upon it tonight.

it broke me.

its called restless.

how fitting for a girl that cant sleep at night, eh?

This song talks about how I will forever be restless until I rest in Him.

Man, I fail there. everyday.

I so often think I can handle everything.

I want things in my control.

I want to make excuses...

where does this leave Brooke?

restless.

I so desire to rest in HIM daily.

Rest in his truths, in his songs.

I so long to fill up the spaces with my worship.

I need to remember that HE is the keeper of my heart.

until I rest in HIM i will forever be restless.

What an opportunity to hear HIM.

What a chance I have right now, as I toss and turn, to hear HIM whisper to me.

I get so distracted by.... myself.

its "breaking" to know of all the opportunities to hear from HIM that i have missed just...

because.

Lord, I dont want to miss another "talk".

Without you I am hopeless.

Tell me who you are...

:)

INSOMNIA!

UGH.

So today I was especially tired.

I started work at 6:30 am.

Long day of work, let.me.tell.you.

Got home around 6 ish and had dinner with the family.

Watched biggest loser (CANNOT believe don and dan gained 9 pounds each... ridic)

worked out, showered... then at 9:15 I was ready for bed.

Laid down at 9:30 so proud of myself :)

Got warm and cozy in bed and slowly started to count all the glorious hours of sleep I would get tonight.... 7...... 8..... 9!

NINE HOURS!

ahhhh. heavenly.

I spent about 10 minutes laying in bed thinking about 9 full hours of sleep. :)

then I started to think about the biggest loser...

(tonights episode really was a shocker.)

then I started to think about working out and how i should do this more...

this made me think of my days and how i can fit working out into everyday.

This made me think of tomorrow.

which made me think of work.

I thought of taking Grace to school tomorrow and how cold its going to be...

then I remembered that tomorrow is Wednesday and I have to lead childrens church.

Then I thought of the lesson that I havent even looked over...

"great", I thought to myself... " now I'm going to have to take addie and paige all the way to meet my dad to get the lesson for tomorrow."

This made me think of childrens church on Sunday morning...

"ugh, I have to get some more teams together"...

Which made me think of the teams I already have...

Then I thought of Jamie and Sue (they are a team)

then I thought of gold coast... my old "church"...

and the well... man, I miss that place.

Then Brian and Tracy...

"I still need to go see their house"

Which made me think of moving...

"ugh... the deans are moving".

this made me sad.

I thought about this for a few minutes.

then I thought of the lost hour.

ugh... now I only have 8.

"what will I wear tomorrow?"

i tried on some clothes.

they looked surprisingly good.

I laid them out to wear tomorrow.

Then I laid back down...

got on facebook...

this ended up taking up 45 minutes of my time..

crap... 7 hours.

okay, relax.

........................................

1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep, 4 sheep....

(not working)

Ugh, I miss Tenisha.

I need to plan a trip.

Drive?

I need a road trip buddy.

hmmmmmm.

I need a better car.

hmmm again.

"ok, Brooke.... sleep!"

6 hours.

then Jonathan was online..

We chatted.

Made me miss Jill.

Okay, movie?

Watching State Fair.

(is there a better movie?)

I cant believe Austen doesnt like it.

dumb.

I mean, he's not dumb... but how can you not like a classic?

Like white christmas?

"gosh I love that movie"

ugh, I already miss Christmas.

Im so glad I got TOMS for christmas.

Is this ridiculous or what?!

I really may have insomnia.

It is now 12:50.

and I havent slept a wink.

pray for me people, this sister needs help.

ahhhh, saturday :)

Its Saturday and I woke up at 12:00.

(whoops?)

Spent my morning (errrr, afternoon) in my bed doing the following.

... drinking apple juice.

... tapping my toes

&

watching bloopers from friends on youtube.

I can assure you it was not as lame as it may sound!

then I showered and spent an hour putting makeup on.

yoooop. a whole hour.

Then experimented with headbands :)

now its time to head to the church and get stuff ready for childrens church...

can i just say something?

I LOVE the kids of Heritage Hill.

they are really wonderful.

and I have thoroughly enjoyed spending the last 9 weeks with them on Sunday mornings...

HOWEVER.

I miss church.

I miss hearing a sermon.

I miss playing piano for the worship band.

Im just kinda missing it.

Wanna know something about me?

Im a horrible delegator. (spelling?)

I have recently been appointed Childrens Director at church and this means one thing.

I have to delegate.

I cant do it.

I just..... cant.

ugh.

But I have had some help (and by "some" I mean a TON)

And I now have childrens church teams set up through out AUGUST!

(sigh of relief)

Which means that in three weeks guess what?!?!?!

i get to go to church.

and play piano

(if Michael will still have me)

and sit, and listen and learn :)

ahhhh, i cant wait.

The Lord has been so present and wonderful and teaching me so much about Leading and Teaching and being a vessel....

However, my well has gotten a LITTLE dry...

Im ready for some church.. you know what im saying?

NOT that childrens church isnt church ...

it is and it has been church to me :)

but... ugh. does this make sense?

sometimes I dont make sense.

Anyways..

the rest of my Saturday will include listening to my little sister play piano in my room.

ps:I have a piano in MY ROOM!!! this is amazing.

and she sounds beautiful!

Skyping with Jess (this is one of my favorite things)

Shopping with my sister

and possibly a movie with my favorite girls (Tangled). dont hate.

I love Saturdays. :)

and tomorrow.... Olathe... my best friend and a special someone! :)

good weekend all!