Guess whose back?!?

I have to admit that over the last year (and some months) I have thought of this.... It would be impossible not to.  I have picked up my computer (now an iPad... Geesh... There's so much to catch up on) and thought of where to begin.  But the thought of a blog has seemed overwhelming because of the variety of topics I've had to cover... A lot has happened people... And I simply couldn't find the time to sit down and write it out.  I apologize.... If we were dating you would have definitely broken up with me by now.  I need to work on consistency..... Noted. :)

    Are we done fighting?........ Okay, good... Love you :)
 
Noooow, where to begin... The last y'all heard from me I was Haiti bound...  Because of your donations and prayers I was able to make an unforgettable, life changing trip.  It was possibly the best experience of my life.  So much stinking fun.  Since there's a lot of ground to cover I might just dedicate a blog down the road to that trip, but for now ill just say It was amazing, challenging and forever changed this American heart. :)
 
 To tell you what happened after Haiti in any kind of detail would be a task for me and boring for you.... So ill just say this... Haiti. Then school... Lots of it. 6 month leave from school.  Working full time.  Big blizzard in which I was snowed in with nothing in my pantry but a box of saltines.  New car (Josie)... She's amazing and will be getting a blog entry of her very own soooooon. Vacation in Michigan with the deans. Worship at grace. Lots of random and fun photo shoots.  A boys2men concert (uhhhhh. Yeah, it was as amazing as you would assume).   A Taylor swift concert. my best friend had a baby... mankato, also probably going to get his own blog soon..... hes perfect. a random offer to move to Illinois for the summer.  A trip to Florida to see the lynch fam.  Moving to Illinois. Graduating from school.  Becoming a  Professional sandwich maker.   Annnnnd here we are.

     Yep, I'm living in peoria Illinois right now.  With the dean family.  It has been an awesome summer full of learning experiences.  They are just the best.  After living on my own for 2 years (can u believe it was two years?!?  Me neither) i really wanted a family and the deans gave me that.  There's no price on coming home to a happy face of a little girl running to you screaming buppy (that's my name around here).  They gave me a home.... And that's priceless... The picnics, family dinners, movie nights, road trips, slumber parties, games of candy land and birthday parties..ugh, it healed me people.

    Ever felt like u needed picked up?  Like life didn't just hand u lemons... But u felt like life was pelting lemons at you?!  Ever felt completely misdirected?!  No?!  Fine.  Me neither. :)
    I was feeling a little broken... Which happens... This ain't no perfect life, boys and girls. And sometimes we (I'm assuming I'm not alone here) can feel totally lost and unsure of what to do next.  Being a grown up is kinda hard.... Oh yeah, and I had another birthday in which I turned..... Wait for it.... 27 (let's not talk about it).
 
     All that mumbo jumbo to say that every time I have felt lost, confused, misdirected, unsure there's one thing that never fails..... Starbucks.   Kidding, that was stupid.

     In all seriousness I have continued to be blown away by the faithfulness of my God.  It makes me cry to even write about it.   Soooooo faithful y'all, it's crazy.  It hasn't mattered what has happened over the last two years (and as u can see a lot has happened).  It doesn't matter how financially, mentally, relationally confused or frustrated or stressed I am, I have woken up every morning knowing that I know that I know that I KNOW that He is faithful,  his mercies are always new.  And that He is behind me and goes before me.  His love for me is strong, seeing past my mess and loving me where I am.  Breathing strength into my life and causing my heart to fall more and more in love with Him.  He is such a good God.  Although at times I throw a pity party and convince myself that I'm really being put thru the ringer I'm quickly reminded that I have no battles to fight.  Every battle has been fought on my account.  I'm victorious.  And because of that amazing truth I can continue to walk thru this life with all its amazing and exciting changes, with all its growth spurts and challenges and all the huge events that are still in my future.

  I'm looking to move back to Kansas City soon and applying for jobs... Life is going to continue to change and transition is going to happen yet again but can I just say for the record that my heart has changed.   For the first time in my life I know I'm not alone.

 And I'm convinced now more than ever that the best is yet to come!
   (Ill make sure to blog about it)
     

HAITI :)

Hey Friends,

Geesh, I haven't posted on here in ages. Just plain ridiculous! In my defense I have been more busy then ever before in my entire existance. I work then go to school then go to bed... 6 hours later (or more if Im lucky) I wake up and the cycle repeats itself. I even have class on Saturdays so Sunday is LITERALLY my only day of rest. Needless to say I'm exhausted all the time. But life is good. Work is amazing, those kiddos literally cannot get any cuter. And school is so fun. I love every part of my days right now (except for the lack of time to do anything). All in All i cant complain. :) I found myself with sometime tonight though and have been wanting to write this specific blog for a long time. As some of you who read this already know I am embarking on a huge adventure. I'm going to Haiti. Yup.. me. The girl who has never even been to Mexico. Want to hear the story? Its an amazing one..... okay. here it goes..

If you read this blog at all then I'm sure you know that I have a little love of my life named Josh. Who is adopted from Korea. In about a week josh will turn 4, which seems unreal. I can still remember standing in the airport as a woman walked down the terminal with a ball of 10 month old, black bowl-cut haired, chubby cheeks Korean love! I'm not sure if I will even love my neices and nephews as much as I love that kid. He is amazing. And watching his parents go through the adoption process was amazing. I think God spoke to my heart in more ways through that experience than in any other experience I have ever had. Since then I have had such a heart for the orphans, or for any child in need of a loving family... both literal and metaphorically speaking. The literal orphans of the world and the people who have strayed away from the heavenly father. I have thought and wanted to go on a missions trip for YEARS but was never given an opportunity really. Until this November.

I have been attending Grace Community Church of the Nazarene in Spring Hill since I moved here and I love it. Its such a great group of people. The Pastor and his family are amazing, the worship is heart-felt. I just love it. In November they announced that they would be taking a missions trip to Haiti at the end of May and IMMEDIATELY i felt like the Lord was tugging at my heart.. it was almost like he was whispering.. "this is it Brooke...." I have to admit that I hesitated... I started to immediately think of excuses... have ya ever done that?

"too much money.."

"not enough time..."

"i've never even been camping and you want me to go to Haiti??"

I decided to go to the informational meeting, which is where my hesitation turned into panic. WE got a SMALL glimpse of what life is like for the people of Haiti. The statistics are jaw-dropping. Here are just a few that stuck out to me.

* at least 1/2 of the haitian population lack access to clean water.

* 76% of all Haitians are living on less than 2 dollars a day

* 500,000 children will never attend school

* there are an estimated 80 deaths per 1000 births.

*only 1 in every 5 haitians have access to a sanitary toilet

* 1 in every 5 children wont make it to the age of 30

* the life expectancy is about 60 years old.

I left the meeting that day scared... trying to think about something else... but I couldnt. I thought about it all day... all night, all day at work the next day... then I came home and in the rush of getting ready I felt confirmation louder than ever.

"Brooke, you love Josh. There is a Josh is Haiti. Josh was blessed with a wonderful and loving family but there are kids in Haiti that dont have that. There is a little boy/girl who needs to be ministered to and Loved. I want you to go do that. You have been a nanny for 5 years.. you have wondered why... this is why. I have been equipping you for this trip. This is where you are supposed to go. This is when. I'm calling you. You have to go to Haiti."

It was so clear. More clear than anything I've ever felt in my life. So, i'm going to Haiti :)

We leave May 26th and will be there for about a week. We will be going to Linbe, Haiti where we will be doing a bunch of different projects, including showing the Jesus Film, helping with construction of churches, putting on a vbs for the kids and of course, spending time with those sweet people. Now.. this is where you guys come in..... are you ready?! :)

I need prayer people :). I am excited for the adventure that lies ahead. I feel called and am confident that this is what the Lord wants me to do. But of course there is a bit of fear. Please pray that the Lord will continue to work on my heart and prepare me for this life changing experience. That I would be a vessel. I'm so nervous that it will break my heart to see that kind of devastation so I ask that you would pray for strength. That I would be used and be open to all the things the Lord wants to do through me and speak to my heart about. Please pray for the people of Haiti and that the Lord would also be preparing their hearts for this trip. That there hearts would be open and willing to hear the message we are bringing. And pray for the kids.

I am doing all I can to support myself financially for the trip but if you feel called to help financially then I will leave some information below to help you be able to do that :) (all givings are tax deductible)

EVERYTHING prayer, donation and thought is SOOO appreciated! :) I'm so excited for this and anxious for what God is going to do :) I'm sure thought on Haiti are sure to be following all the posts from now on :)

Isaiah 6:8 “Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.”

Mail all money donations by check to:

Grace Community Church of the Nazarene

19300 S. Highway 169

Spring Hill, KS 66083

*all checks made out to Grace Community Church with "Brooke Cluff Haiti Trip in the memo line*

Repeat the Sounding Joy

Repeat the Sounding Joy....

I love Christmas music. Weeks ago I made my way into Kohls and purchased Bing Crosbys Christmas cd and have been listening to it religiously in my car, on my computer, iphone and ipod... (get the picture?) I love it. Christmas music feels so "home-ish" to me. Its warm, its inviting, its relaxing, it says to me "remember all the good in the world that comes with this time of year"... i. just. love. it. And Its not just Bing that I'm crazy about.. its christmas music in general... from nsync's christmas to my beloved Grinch. This compilation of compositions warms my heart like no other :)

So, you get the picture, I love Christmas music... and I've been listening to it a lot lately... I'll be Home for Christmas (which I will), Jingle Bells, Here comes Santa Claus and joy to the world. :)

I was waking up this morning after a rough night. I have had this past week off work which has been nice... I miss those adorable little kiddos but its been nice having days to get some things done and lets be real... NOT waking up at 6 am hasnt hurt. :) But with days full of wonderful nothingness comes thoughts full of everything. I have never thought of myself as much of an over-analyzer or thinker... but I have to admit in my old age i'm thinking more. It all started Monday (when I got home from my parents for thanksgiving). I have planned with my brother and sister for weeks now to go get a real tree for my place after thanksgiving. The plan was to go get one this Friday But because of conflicting schedules (not on MY part) it wasnt going to work, after trying to find another time I came to the conclusion that this year I would be getting a tree and putting it up by myself. Kind of a bummer. I am now sitting on my couch still putting off getting one. My whole apartment is decorated for christmas... and then there is this....

This is the awkward, huge, empty space in my living room that I made for a tree that has yet to be placed there. I HAVE to get a tree today. I'm just putting it off because I didnt want to do it alone. My whole life putting up the tree has been a big deal, our family sets a time to do it and we all gather together and put up the ornaments from our childhood and listen to music. I just wanted my first christmas in my own place to be similar to that. (serves me right for wanting to live ALONE!) ..... can you tell I'm upset? ha. So I'll no doubt go today and put up my tree and everything will be fine... I can promise you one thing.. BING will be there.. he never disappoints ... not that my siblings have disappointed me because they havent. I totally understand that they have busy schedules as do i. Its hard to find a time to do stuff. I'm not mad at them. I'm just. mad. And Last night I was really mad.... let me tell ya. (no, for real, I'm about to tell you).

So I came home from class at about 930 and walked into my apartment, took a shower and sat down to drink some hot tea before bed (dont you love this meaning-less details?) As I was sitting down I was looking at my apartment and all the christmas decorations I have put up and yet it still doesnt feel like christmas.... mostly because of the picture above. Then I thought about Home and missing it (its was beyond wonderful to be "home" for thanksgiving) then I thought about talking to my mom earlier that day. She had called to see how my day was going and I had missed her call so she was calling again to make sure I was okay... in our conversation she said this... "I just wanted to check on ya sis, you do live alone... if anything happened how would we know?". So true. :) and such a sweet delightful mama for caring so much about me.

But that sentence rang in my mind all night. I do like living alone. Its what i wanted. I didnt really wanna do the whole room-mate thing. Its just that word... "alone". I have hated the word my whole life. "alone". that word gives me the same feelings that the word "mufasa" gives the hyenas in Lion King. I have always despised it. Even as a little girl, I never wanted to be alone.... my poor sister had to deal with my fear of being alone by constantly going with me everywhere... we are talking bathroom, upstairs, anywhere that was dark. (oh come on, you know you did it too, I know i'm not alone in this (theres that darn word again)). Me and my sister even slept in the same bed for YEARS because I hated being alone so much. I think she kinda shared my fear so she didnt mind too much... she only complained when I would ask her to rub my back till I fell asleep... (ok ok, I was alittle needy).

Why did I start talking about this?? OH YEA.. I hate the word ALONE. back.on.track.

So I have never wanted to be alone and yet here I am in an apartment in a different state than my parents living.... (i'm not going to say it)..... by myself. :)

And although I often enjoy being... by myself... cant I just have someone help me put on the stinkin' tree??!

Okay, now onto the moral of the story... :) I was waking up this morning with a sore throat and stuffy nose and feeling all around "poopy", sitting on my couch (where I still remain) staring at that ugly, empty space in my living room when I started to hum a little christmas song.... (they always cheer me up)....

Joy to the world... our Saviour reigns. Let men their songs employ...

While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains...

repeat the sounding joy...

repeat the sounding joy.

repeat, repeat the sounding joy.

Repeat the sounding Joy??? I love how God can get to me with four words and start to change my attitude. It was almost like i heard His voice saying...

"i know, things arent PERFECT... i know there are things your tired of... I know you are dealing with some "things"... i know. BUT repeat the sounding joy."

So, what's your joy? Is it your family? It is your spouse? It is your ministry? Maybe its the new blessing God sent you this year? Maybe its the dream house you FINALLY got... it could be a million things. Or maybe its been a hard year and you cant think of a joy off the top of your head.. in which case I would suggest you look at the joy the song is referring to... which is precisely what I am doing. The joy is that Jesus was born to come and bring us freedom. To show us the greatest love of all in something as sweet and perfect as a baby boy. He came so that we could have a direct relationship with Him. I'm so thankful that He is constant. And that He is with me thru all these seasons I'm experiencing.. the wonderful, the hard, the trying, the fun... all of it.. He is walking beside me helping me get through. He didnt have to come... but He came :)

....... thats the Joy worth repeating.

the adventures of auntie b :)

I cant believe almost a whole year has passed since I began this blog... its been so fun.

Im currently sitting in my newly "moved around" living room (had to make room for the christmas tree I AM putting up before thanksgiving) with hot tea and candles lit.

ahhh... I really do love my home. and most the time I love living here alone and enjoying the peace and quiet and always being the keeper of the remote. :)

** I can watch state fair as many times as I want and nobody complains... **

I finally feel like this place is my own... and it looks like me.. i guess. :) Just feels good. :)

Emory and Hayden are doing so wonderful... I cut Emorys hair for Picture day, she looked adorable. She kept walking thru the house running her fingers through her hair while saying to herself.. "Oooooh my goodness.. show mommy"... too stinking cute! Hayden is officially in love with me which is good because I'm crazy about that little man, he is constantly giving

me the flirting eyes and smiles.... whatta way to spend your days eh? I'm a lucky girl.

School is great.. I have given about 20 haircuts including some of my sisters friends. :) ha... If your in the Olathe area and want a free haircut then CALL me! I need practice. :) ps: I'm good... and have YET to mess up... your in good hands :)

I have my 4th exam tomorrow and really should be studying.. (i cant believe I have re-entered the world of studying.. grody.) I really do love the classes though and my instructor says I'm a natural.. I feel like I've found my nitch (or niece for all you Boy meets world fans).

Speaking of NIECE...

I dont have a niece of nephew but I have a ton of fake ones... (shout out to Harrison, Josh, Jaz, Grace, Addi and Paigers) But It all started with Josh :) He is the little love of my life! :) I've blogged about him before so I'll save the repetitive-ness and just tell you that He and his sister Jaz came to spend the weekend with Auntie B (m-wah) a couple weekends ago and it was sooo stinking fun! WE had jack-o-lantern pizzas and popsicles and koolaid and way too many treats.. watched a movie, played, had a bubble bath (they did... not me). and all slept in my room... Jaz was in the pack n play and josh and I in my bed... I literally felt like I was in a movie as I woke up repeatedly to josh's hands, feet, arms and booty in my face at various times in the night till finally at 730 am I was awoken by a sweet little boys voice asking "Auntie B, you got anything in this place for

breakfast?" *too stinking cute*

And Auntie B DID have something... chocolate chip pancakes... Josh was a happy boy :)

After church I got to go have lunch with the sprat family and catch up.

I really miss them... I miss a lot of things about Omaha but the Spratlen Fam is in a

category of their own.. they are just great people :). AFter lunch we went and took some family pictures... heres just a few...

They are just so great and I had so much fun hanging out with them! :)

Having Josh and Jaz around made me realize how thankful I am for the people in my life...

I think sometimes I forget what I have because I focus so much on what I dont have... for instance... lately I have decided I want a house.. CRAZY right?!! I mean, thats just stupid. Nothing against home-owners (one day I hope to join your club) But I live alone... and I JUST got my FIRST apartment.... and its only been six months. there is this thing called the maintenance man that comes everytime my clog in my shower acts weird and those dont come with houses!!!

I just tend to get ahead of myself. I want a house.. I want a husband (i know i know, broken record) I want a new car... I want more money... I want to be done with school.. I want.. I want... I need.. I need.. blah blah bloppity-blah.

Its in those moments of searching for houses on "homes.com" or looking at baby pictures of the children I do NOT have in pinterest that God stops me and gives me a little slap in the face (in a loving way of course)... "Brookey poo (thats what He calls me)... look at what I've given you.... look at your life... and remember I'm in control.. puh-lease Brooke.. be still..."

Thats what he tells me... So i'm working on listening to that... and being still. :) And remembering what I have and how stinking faithful He has been to me this year. When I was so lost and scared of what the future held... he was holding me.

So thankful for a God who is big enough to hold me up. :) and thankful, very thankful For friends, for family (both of which I'm convinced I got the best of). For a job that I love **how many people can say that??!** and to be back in school learning something I love doing.

How can I complain about not having a house or a husband when God has been so faithful and I've been so lucky? Welp.. i just. cant.

Hold on to your hats people.... I feel a thankful List coming on... maybe next post :)

He sings over me but does my life sing to Him?

Hey friends, told you I was back to the blogging world... this is my third post in like 3 days...

this is either awesome or ridiculous...

definitley awesome. :)

I am currently sitting on the floor in my living room... I should be vacuuming or something... there is plenty to do around here.. like fold a TON of laundry.. but instead Im just sitting here.. on the floor. I just finished painting... i love painting :) I actually just finished two paintings of princesses for Addi and Grace (old nanny family from omaha).

*** side note... when painting try to remember which plastic cup is your sweet tea and which cup is your paint water other wise your in for an unpleasant surprise ****

*** another side note: resolve carpet cleaner is my new best friend.. i use it on everything, carpet, clothes... anything with a stain.. its amaze ****

(i have started to abbrev. everything. examples : amaze, gorg, delish, fab, hyster)... its taking on a life of its own.)

Okay, now to the subject of this post...

I can be negative. I'm sure I'm the only one, none of you can be negative... right?

I can be straight up mean. I hate this about myself yet at I cant deny it.

I have a weird and complex personality.

What I mean is that I am so quick to get over something. I can literally be mad one minute and then totally over it the next... but I am also stubborn... I am super passionate (some people may use the word dramatic but I like "passionate" more). I feel BIG (not I feel "large" but when I feel an emotion I feel it in a BIG way.) and I'm always honest about how I feel and its really hard for me not to voice how I feel. (not always a good thing)

I embellish when I'm heated. I used to embellish all the time, but now its only when Im getting worked up.. and even then its rare. (some people would call it lying but I like "embellish" more).

I am flawed. I mess up. I put me first constantly. I like control.

I... I... I... me.. me.. me. Brooke. Brook. BrookE.

So, today I was really struggling with something going on in my life and I was driving home from work with a MILLION things going thru my mind.... example??

School, schedules, work, family, church, work, money, budget, school, family... it was like a ferris wheel of emotions... just a constant circle...

I turned on my radio to try to block out my loud and annoying thoughts when I heard a lyric to a song playing (on no other station than the good ol' klove.)

"my heart will sing to you"

I dont know what song it was, I had never heard it before and by the time I turned the radio on the song was almost over.... but I caught the part I SO needed to hear.

After hearing it I began to feel this CRAZY conviction...

Does my heart sing to Him?

I feel like my heart sings a million different songs thru out my day. My heart sings to sweet little Hayden and Emory from 7-4. But in between bottles and books, naps and snacks, my heart is singing a million other songs... maybe you've heard them...

"Old Miss Brookey needs more cash... ee-yi-ee-yi-OHHHHHH"

or

"The wheels on my car are going flat, going flat, going flat... I really need more oil stat.. all the way to town."

my heart is singing songs of fear all the time.. songs about self worth.... am I gaining weight? Do I look okay? I need to fix this or that about me...

My heart is singing songs of fear about my future.. whats next? as I slowly let go of the fantasies of childhood I am more and more fearful that I'll live my life alone.

Songs of anxiety... songs of fear... not-s0-nice-songs that a good christian girl shouldnt be singing to herself.

And you know that enemy... he Lo-hoooves this. He creeps right in and thrives on me when I get like this.

Now listen up ya'll. Im a real girl, with real feelings and when I'm wrong I'm really wrong.

(Just wanted to clarify because I know you all think I'm flawless and perfect.)

ARE YOU LAUGHING?

But my point is Im not always strong.. in fact most the time I fail... and today when the enemy came after me I failed. I totally bought into him and started to defend my... "songs". Do you ever do that? You sing these songs over yourself all day long about the things you are NOT or the things you DONT have.... and then defend it??!!

"I just need to complain" "I need to get this off my chest" "im being human" "you would hate it too if you werent happy with your body".... it goes on and on.

Its like the enemy convinces us to defend these.. "songs"... but then after we have defended our "songs" it makes us feel even worse. And the last thing we feel like doing is... singing.

"my heart sings to you".

A couple years ago I heard this worship song called "amazed" and the first lyric is this:

You dance over me while I am unaware.... You sing all around but I never hear a sound.

ugh, that gets me everytime... I just picture the Lord dances slowly and beautifully above me as I go thru my life. I imagine Him looking over my situation and singing over me.

So if God is singing over me then how different would I look (my attitude, my heart, my worth) if I made it priority for my heart to constantly be singing to Him.

And trading out the ee-Yi-ee-Yi-oh for a How Great is our God....

Living a life of singing to him WITH my life. Easy? no way. Probably pretty hard because I'm a passionate and flawed individual... But necessary.??.... heck yes.

I was so reminded in my car that God is singing over my life RIGHT now. All the junk I'm sorting thru and with every tear I shed HE is singing and dancing over Brooke. (so thankful).

So... I think its time... that I sing back.

We should start a choir.

Uncle Jim

Okay ya'll... are you ready for a bit of Brooke's Family tree?? Here we go...

My moms name is Char and her parents are Paul and Marge.

Paul and Marge have 8 kids... that was not a typo.. they have EIGHT. They are as follows...

Ron, Karen, Fred, Sharon, Deb, Gayle, Diane and Char.

My whole life I have been VERY close to my aunts and uncles but VERY VERY close to my aunts. Spent many summers at Aunt Karens picking strawberries in her garden, always enjoyed visits with Aunt Beav (Diane... we have always called her Beav... weird) and Aunt Sharon. Eaten pounds and pounds of popcorn with Auntie (gayle) and watched movies. Even with Uncle Ron I would go see him and Aunt Weezy in Florida where they lived and I have always looked forward to the times I would get to see Uncle Fred! They are all the best and I love them so so much... But there is only one that I have been compared to my ENTIRE life.. and thats Deb. Ever since I can remember I have heard things like "You sound just like DEB!" or "you are your aunt deb". Here are the things me and that lovely woman have in common... we leave things like shoes and earrings in random places then cannot find them to save our lives, we dont clean out our purses when we switch, we say what we think even when we shouldnt (ha), but we love BIG and are quick to forgive... we can be mad at you one second and over it the next. I am most like my aunt Deb and I love that. :)

My aunt deb is married to my uncle Jim. They have been married almost 20 years. Uncle Jim is sweet and kind... possibly the sweetest and most kind man you could ever meet. Would never do so much as mumble a negative word about someone. ALWAYS smiling, incredibly genuine... and insanely happy. But most of all he is CRAZY in love with my Aunt Deb. I'm talking CRAZY in love. EVer since I was a little girl and I would see them Uncle Jim would start singing and serenade Aunt Deb... I can hear him now....

Wise men say only fools rush in, but I cant help falling in love with you......

He sang that to her all the time, it was how he told her he loved her when they were dating... it was their song... and no matter where they were or what they were doing he would sing it to her, and only her.. it was so sweet.

Uncle Jim was diagnosed with cancer 6 years ago and was given two years, but thru treatments and lots of prayer the Lord gave him 6. Last sunday, while at home, with Aunt Deb right next to him he peacefully left this world and went "home". From what I've heard it sounds like he knew the time was close and made sure to say his goodbyes... Saturday night before falling asleep he had one more thing to tell my aunt Deb before he went to sleep... "I just love Jesus so much"... then he went to sleep and while sleeping went to heaven. What a legacy he left.

As many of you who are reading this now I have wanted one thing more than any other thing since I was like... well... 4. Seriously. and thats to be married. I have so longed for a husband. At times its been an unhealthy obsession, ha. But as of right now I would say its just a "dream". There have been a few guys in the picture lately and although each has had its one wonderful traits I have known they werent the "one".

If there is anything I learned from Uncle Jim it was to wait. Wait for the one. Wait for my Jim. My aunt deb has told me that since I was little... I can hear her now saying "wait honey, you gotta wait precious girl, its so worth it!". And although I have always believed her, I dont think I have completely gotten it till now.

Uncle Jim was just awesome. If you have been reading my blog then you might remember me talking about going to tennessee last thanksgiving and going to the hoe-down (throwdown). Well, Uncle Jim was in the band that played there at the barn dance. He was the reason we went. And I'm so thankful for that memory of him. I cant think of a single bad thing about him and if you had known him then you wouldnt be able to either. He was such a sweet and precious man who loved my aunt Debbie more than anything.

Aunt Deb, you are loved by me. So happy we have the bond that we do and I'm proud to be a "little debbie". you are so precious to me. I will honor Jims life by waiting for a guy like him and not settling for less and by loving God with all my heart.

Save a place for my Uncle Jim.... love ya.

back to the blogging world!

Hey All. So, lately I have been missing Blogging like no other... I think I'm a seasonal blogger. It was just about a year ago that I started this blog and originally I was inspired by fall... and food.

Welp, a year has passed and I'm inspired by the same things... Whoops?

Which is why I have diagnosed myself as a seasonal blogger.... Just didnt blog much over the summer... but dont worry people... the blogging Brooke is back in action. (say that 10 times fast.)

Anyways... let me catch you up with all the big events in my life the last 6 months... ha (im being sarcastic).

ps: I'm dividing this into two blogs....

Actually there have been some big events... I moved from Omaha (home) to Overland Park, Kansas (aka: new home... aka: kansas city). I have an adorable and homey but very little one bedroom apartment. My family has visited on many occasions and its always so fun... the only thing I dont like is that we have to turn my living room into a bedroom with a blow up mattress... (an AMAZING one, by the way). The first time they visited we had mom and dad in my room, with me, brandon and brit all in the living room.... me & brit on the air mattress and brandon on the couch. It was that night that i started to imagine my "next" place... hopefully a house (obviously I'm planning on staying in this apartment for a few years)....

I imagined the spacious 3 (0r 4) bedr00m with big living room and an actual dining room that doesnt act as a dining room/music room/entry-way.... as I was dreaming away my thoughts were interrupted by a saying my mom used to always tell us when we were kids... "love grows best in little spaces". That night i decided to not complain about my adorable and homey but very little one bedroom apartment. :) and i havent ever since. :) (knock on wood)

I have been nannying for the Huntingtons almost 6 months now. (SO CRAZY). Emory is talking like crazy and so far her favorite saying is "girl please!" She also likes to show me everything.. her socks.. her shoes... her stuffed animals.... her fingernails... everything. Needless to say my days with Emory consist of these two sayings.. "Girl, please!" and "brooke Look!". She is precious! :) Hayden is becoming a little butterball and will be 1 year old in January! He is smiling and cooing and laughing and just so stinking cute! :) They fill my days with hugs, kisses, high-fives and giggles... I really and truly LOVE being a nanny!

Speaking of being a nanny... I have been struggling for the last couple years with how long I will do this. I have been nannying for over 7 years. And Ive had the most amazing families and watched the most amazing kids, but as each job ended it got harder and harder to say goodbye. Which is always hard for me because I get so attached to the family... case in point (or is it case and point? Ive never known).... I text with Jozette at least once a week. (jozette is my old boss.. ha) and I have planned two trips to see them... both of which have been cancelled... this makes me cry a little.

So all of that to say I havent been sure how many more nanny days I have in me.... Everytime I think I'm done there is another family that comes my way and I . just.cant.RESIST!

I have, however, been feeling the itch to try something new... so I'm going to HAIR SCHOOL! :) and starting on Monday... The schedule will be crazy busy but will only last a year. going to beauty school was actually what I wanted to do when I graduated highschool... but decided to attend a university instead... so glad becauase thats how i met 5 of my 6 best friends!

(Jess, Brit, Kel and Les).

I just figured that since I have moved away from mom and dad, living on my room, trying all these new things... why not do something I have always wanted to do.. ya picking up what I'm droppin??

So whether im cutting someones hair or taking kids to the park I'm confident I'll be happy doing whatever it is....... that I'm doing... (long sentence).

In other news.... sad and happy news... I said goodbye to an uncle this last week. Good ol' Jolly Uncle Jim... If you care to know all about this then read the Uncle Jim blog... I'm splitting them up! :)

Happy Fall! :)