Adoption Fundraiser

 I gotta be honest, this adoption thing is EMOTIONAL for me.  I have the highest of highs and then I have the lowest of lows.    I have moments of shear excitement and anticipation followed by more fears than I can express in one blog alone.  I have questions, curiosities, insecurities, followed by more questions, more curiosities and more insecurities.   I'm terrified to be waiting for a baby for years, I'm terrified of holding a baby in two months.   THIS IS A FREAKING ROLLERCOASTER.   But then.......

   Then you have a village that sweeps you up in the midst of this rollercoaster.  You have friends that love you like family.  Friends that organize an entire fundraiser, a complete stranger that offers to do photography all day in the heat, rain and humidity.  Strangers that bring their sweet highland calves for photo shoots for the youngin's.  You didnt look for it, you didnt even ask for it.  But all the sudden your surrounded by a village of people that want to support you in anyway they can...  just because you're adopting.  

   This saturday the Dowd Foundation, ran by our amazing friends Brit and Brooke Dowd, threw us a fundraiser.   An amazing photographer, Jordy Goff who runs Our Clique Photography out of Osawatamie offered to spend her entire Saturday (and she has 6 KIDS AT HOME) to take family photos.  It was a wild, incredibly humbling day for Jake and I.   As we sat on the Dowds back porch swing, we couldnt put into words what we felt.  Watching friends and family come out to support us, but also complete strangers... it was quite a feeling.   Because of everyones generosity we were able to put $2,000 towards this adoption.  

Do  I still have worries? YUP!  Am i still nervous about a million things... yea.    But I'll tell you this much... It sure feels different with a village around you.

A  Million Times Thankyou!  

 Our profile is being built... we are getting closer and closer...  So lets keep this thing going :)

Our Love,

The waiting Johnsons

Moving right along!!!

 Hey all!   After two months we have completed our home study paper work!!!!!  This may sound simple but if you have gone thru this process you understand what an undertaking this is!!!  It’s intrusive and very intense!   But we have finished this Portion!  In the next few weeks we will complete our profile which is basically the book that is shown to birth mothers to tell them all about Jake and I!   Thru our amazing agency, they have someone that does all the work for you on this front, we provide pictures and information and they put it all together for us!  This process of putting our profile together takes about 2-3 weeks!  After this is done we go ‘active’ which means at any point we can get matched with a birth mother!  We recently completed some training where we found out that 50% of the time your adoption is instant… meaning a baby has been born and is at the hospital and you need to drop everything and get there!  They have also had couples get matched 2 days after completing their profile.  So this is where it gets intense.  Because we could have a baby by September… but we could also be waiting a year from now.  There is a lot of unknown.  We are excited.  We are also terrified. Ha.  So how can you support us?  First of all pray for us.  Second of all - pray for birth mom.  There is a complete stranger out there right now that is going to become a huge part of our lives, she is no doubt walking a hard road.  Join us in praying for her.  Your prayers are the most useful thing to us!  We would also be so blessed If you want to financially support us as the costs are now due and the agency we are with is $37,000  - we have saved for this for years but are hoping to raise 10,000.  We know this is a lot.   We have a go fund me that is linked to both my Facebook and instagram, we have a fundraiser coming up June 8th that is also linked on my pages.  

   When it’s all laid out in front of Jake and I we easily become overwhelmed.  This is not what we wrote down in our 5 year plan of ‘1st 5 years of marriage’ but it’s without a doubt where we are being led.  We are excited and hopeful yet guarded and nervous!  Trusting god to help make the impossible parts possible.  We will keep you updated as we continue to mark things off the list!

Find an agency - CHECK!

Announce you’re adopting - CHECK

complete homestudy-  CHECK

Next up- create profile and search for birth mom!

Adopting!

 Wow, the last time I wrote on this blog I was prepping for surgery on my uterus to try to improve fertility in hopes that we could become pregnant.  Sooooo, let’s do some catching up since that was almost 3 years ago!!!!

 So we ended up doing IVF and it was a big fat failure.   We actually were pretty traumatized from the whole experience.   I hated the place we ended up at.  The staff was so condescending to me, it was just an awful horrible experience that cost us thousands and yielded no results.  We were devastated.   I was a wreck.  During this time our family members on each side were getting pregnant and growing their families as well as friends.  It felt like the reminder of what we couldn’t achieve was everywhere.   The line between joy and grief is a blurry one.  One I had to work very very hard to navigate.  So we decided no more ivf, we wouldn’t continue to pour money into something that was so unsuccessful - how unsuccessful you may ask???? - well most the time you end up with embryos from IVF and then you transfer them in hopes they implant and you become pregnant.  Well we didn’t end up with an egg that would even fertilize.  Sooo yea.  

  So what have we been doing for three years?  Well, medicated cycles, diets, home remedies, lots of prayer.  All the things and most of all - trying to heal.  Infertility wounds a part of your heart so deeply that people can be aware you’re hurting and struggling but the truth is - unless you’ve been there - you can’t understand how deeply you hurt.  How you can smile and play with kids and then get in the car and sob the whole way home.  It’s very isolating and lonely.   We did get pregnant in Jan 2022 and I had positive pregnancy tests for two weeks.  It was heaven.  Right when we were getting ready to tell everyone I miscarried.   Life sure can beat you up.   One thing I’m so thankful for is what this has done to Jake and i’s marriage.  It kills me to think infertility can cause divorce.  I feel so lucky to have Jake.  We have grown closer thru this process.  I say it all the time but it rings true ‘im so thankful for my Jake’.  Geesh, I looooove that man. 

  Sooo there’s a very fast catch up… now let’s get to what’s happening now!!

    Last summer Jake and I took a trip to Colorado and we talked about the possibility of adopting.  We decided we would start saving money and try a few other medical things and see where we were at come the new year.  The new year approached and still not pregnant.  After a lot of prayer we finally decided in March to find an agency.   We have started working with a local agency and our application has been approved!!!  We are now working thru the INSANE amounts of paperwork for our home study!  As soon as the paper work is done (they give you three months to complete the paper work) we will begin our home study… after home study is complete we will go ‘active’ and start looking for a birth mom.  

  We announced last weekend and a lot of people asked if were already matched, no we aren’t.  We are still early in the process but we are excited.  And for the first time we feel hopeful this will give us a family.  A sign read ‘no bump but still pumped!  We are adopting!!!  Baby Johnson coming soon’… but we didn’t want to mislead people… we are still searching for baby Johnson.  Ha.  With that said, our agency also down private adoptions… so if there is anyone reading this that knows a birth mom wanting to place her child for adoption please prayerfully consider reaching out to Jake and I.  We have a fundraiser we are planning for June that I will get out more info on in the coming weeks but more than anything we need prayer.  This is exciting and scary and intimidating but we definitely feel it’s where god is leading us.   When you have heard ‘no’ for over 4 years it’s easy to get paranoid and fearful that this process won’t work for us either… but all we can do is close our eyes and walk by faith!   The outpouring of love has been overwhelming.   We cannot wait to be parents!  Thankyou for all your support!  We love you!